Murphy's graphic design laws

By Toon
Murphy's graphic design laws

(We know that this is Eddie Murphy we just didn't care) 

We know that this is Eddie Murphy we just didn't care

* Your fonts will default.
* If you have two versions of a photo, you will send the wrong one to the printer.
* Promises made by the salesperson never make it to the pressroom.
* The salesperson will promise anything.
* If the text consists of two words, one will be misspelled.
* Speed. Quality. Affordability. Pick two.
* If the run is wrong, it's never the press operator's fault.
* Spell checkers don't.
* Grammar checkers don't, either.
* Global search-and-replaces aren't.
* The index entry you leave out will be the first one the client looks under.
* Optical Character Recognition is good comedy.
* If three designs are shown to a client, your least favorite will be chosen.
* If two designs are shown, a third will be requested. If provided, then one of the first two will be chosen.
* Blueline proofs reveal previously invisible errors.
* The best designs never survive contact with the client.
* You will misspell the name of the client's spouse.
* Your best idea is already copyrighted.
* Creative inspiration flows in inverse proportion to the distance from the studio.
* Doctors, astronauts, and plumbers need training to do their jobs, but anyone with a copy of Publisher is a graphic designer
* No matter how detailed the tech support FAQ is, nobody has ever heard of your problem
* The number of colors in a client's design will equal the number of colors in the original bid specs, plus two
* The client's disk won't run on your equipment
* If you purchase new equipment to read your client's disk, it will be the last disk of that type you will ever receive
* Your client won't "get it."
* A single picture tells more than a thousand words. Any technical picture has more than thousand bugs
* A single picture has more bugs than be described with thousand words

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Toon Creffield

I'm Toon Creffield - A Graphic Design and Marketing professional from Sheffield, UK