Murphy's graphic design laws
(We know that this is Eddie Murphy we just didn't care)
* Your fonts will default.
* If you have two versions of a photo, you will send the wrong one to the printer.
* Promises made by the salesperson never make it to the pressroom.
* The salesperson will promise anything.
* If the text consists of two words, one will be misspelled.
* Speed. Quality. Affordability. Pick two.
* If the run is wrong, it's never the press operator's fault.
* Spell checkers don't.
* Grammar checkers don't, either.
* Global search-and-replaces aren't.
* The index entry you leave out will be the first one the client looks under.
* Optical Character Recognition is good comedy.
* If three designs are shown to a client, your least favorite will be chosen.
* If two designs are shown, a third will be requested. If provided, then one of the first two will be chosen.
* Blueline proofs reveal previously invisible errors.
* The best designs never survive contact with the client.
* You will misspell the name of the client's spouse.
* Your best idea is already copyrighted.
* Creative inspiration flows in inverse proportion to the distance from the studio.
* Doctors, astronauts, and plumbers need training to do their jobs, but anyone with a copy of Publisher is a graphic designer
* No matter how detailed the tech support FAQ is, nobody has ever heard of your problem
* The number of colors in a client's design will equal the number of colors in the original bid specs, plus two
* The client's disk won't run on your equipment
* If you purchase new equipment to read your client's disk, it will be the last disk of that type you will ever receive
* Your client won't "get it."
* A single picture tells more than a thousand words. Any technical picture has more than thousand bugs
* A single picture has more bugs than be described with thousand words
(We know that this is Eddie Murphy we just didn't care)
* Your fonts will default.
* If you have two versions of a photo, you will send the wrong one to the printer.
* Promises made by the salesperson never make it to the pressroom.
* The salesperson will promise anything.
* If the text consists of two words, one will be misspelled.
* Speed. Quality. Affordability. Pick two.
* If the run is wrong, it's never the press operator's fault.
* Spell checkers don't.
* Grammar checkers don't, either.
* Global search-and-replaces aren't.
* The index entry you leave out will be the first one the client looks under.
* Optical Character Recognition is good comedy.
* If three designs are shown to a client, your least favorite will be chosen.
* If two designs are shown, a third will be requested. If provided, then one of the first two will be chosen.
* Blueline proofs reveal previously invisible errors.
* The best designs never survive contact with the client.
* You will misspell the name of the client's spouse.
* Your best idea is already copyrighted.
* Creative inspiration flows in inverse proportion to the distance from the studio.
* Doctors, astronauts, and plumbers need training to do their jobs, but anyone with a copy of Publisher is a graphic designer
* No matter how detailed the tech support FAQ is, nobody has ever heard of your problem
* The number of colors in a client's design will equal the number of colors in the original bid specs, plus two
* The client's disk won't run on your equipment
* If you purchase new equipment to read your client's disk, it will be the last disk of that type you will ever receive
* Your client won't "get it."
* A single picture tells more than a thousand words. Any technical picture has more than thousand bugs
* A single picture has more bugs than be described with thousand words
